Friday, June 27, 2008

Will you be my "Papi?"

I told myself I wouldn't allow it again. Allow this heart of mine to love like I loved before. I told myself, and even God, that I wouldn't do it. I refused it. And then God laughed.
I was privileged to work with the group from Grand Central two weeks ago. It was good for me to serve the people of Honduras with some of my closest friends. During this trip, we went to Hogar Bencaleth, the special needs orphanage. There, I was able to spend time with a little boy who I got I had spent time with two years ago. This sweet little boy, through his disabilities, reminded me that I was here to love people, not refuse love to people. Later that day, we traveled to Didasko, a children's home that I have come to adore. At Didasko, I played with the kids and then I saw, Isaac, the boy who I had spent time with last year. Being able to color with him, do puzzles with him, and just simply talk with him softened this hard heart.
I returned to Casa rejuvenated, ready to love my kids. Then we went and visited the boys for Marvin's and Antonio's birthday. It was so good to see all of our kids together again, playing with each other, enjoying each other's presence, just like it should be. I was able to hold Mario and talk to him about living with his family. He told me he liked it but sometimes his Dad hits him and Francisco with belts. When those words came out, I was reminded why I had hardened my heart. It hurts me when my children hurt. I was determined again that I would not let another child steal my heart.
And the way back, Cindy and Maryuri were sitting on my lap and Cindy turned to me and asked me, "JT, will you be my Papi?" This, of course caught me off gaurd, but I answered without hesistation, "Yes, Cindy, I will be your Papi." She smiled at me and then looked at her sister and asked, "Can you be Maryuri's Papi, too?" The answer was the same. So, once again, I find myself giving out bits of my hearts, vulnerable to whatever the world may through at it.
The other night, Brayan was sitting with me and telling me about his family. He told me that he never gets to see his Dad. I told him that he needed at Dad in his life, and without missing a beat said, "Well, your my Dad."
I had a hard heart before, but now, it is completely different story. A better story. It might not have its happy parts, but I know that there will be a "happy ever after."

1 comment:

Ashley said...

I love you and that heart of yours....